Congratulations! You just signed up for a beautiful, scenic, mountainous triathlon or bike race! All you can imagine are cool mountain breezes, the scent of pine trees, wispy clouds behind a mountain range and maybe the sound of a rushing, rocky stream. SCRRRREEEECHHHH! BUT WAIT JUST A DARNED MINUTE! Oh no! You live in Florida? Texas? Or some other place, that is as flat as that table your laptop was sitting on when you registered for this get-up?!